Wednesday, July 28, 2010

SAHM Again!

When they ask me at work, "Why are you leaving?" The answer is simple. I will point to these three pictures.

I will be officially leaving my part-time job on August 6. I'm so excited! Which is strange because when I first got my job in March, I really liked it and I enjoyed the breaks it gave me in the mornings to step outside the home. (It was my first paid job in over 6 years.) But now that I've been doing it for over 5 months, now that Trent has a full-time job, and now that our student loans are finally coming, I'm happy about returning home.
Sophie is growing so fast each day, I miss her terribly, even though I get home by 1pm. Sometimes when I'm sitting at my desk, I imagine her walking around the corner with her pudgy, tanned arms outstretched to me and her unruly blonde curls, and I get all choked up! When I told them my time was up here and I wanted to return home to my kids, they asked me how much I would need to be making per hour to make it worth it. (They knew my daycare costs were the large majority of my paycheck. ) I told them $20/ hour, partly in jest because what company in their right mind would pay an HR Receptionist $20/hour and also because even if they offered that, I still wouldn't stay. Pretty much no amount of money would compensate for missing out on the 17th month of Sophie's life. Or the 42nd month of Hailey's life. Those months can never be re-lived. Once they are lived, they are gone for eternity. Why should my daycare provider get to see those moments, and not me? (Even though Shauna is amazing, like a sister to me, and my girls adore her--they always want her to hold them at church!) But she's still not ME!!

Working the few short months I did was nice because Trent didn't have a job for the first little while, and then I stayed because of the possiblity of helping Trent get a job at the same company. Now that he's working elsewhere at a good place for him, I can leave.

Money will always be there. Or NOT be there. Money is just money. My children's lives are my children's lives. The same children that I was blessed to give birth to, given the trust to raise them, and teach them, and love them. It's not hard to see which one is more important.

Of course we need occasional breaks from our children--a night out with girlfriends, dates with our husbands, or working out a few times a week alone. Even a special hobby we can work on a little each day. All these things make us better moms. But those quiet (or CHAOTIC) mornings when my husband is at work, and I am at home being my kids' mom (as Dr. Laura would say), are the moments that will get me all bleary-eyed when I'm 60 years old, and admiring my clean house and my quiet house, and missing them terribly.

(Unless of course, I'm like my parents, and every few months another one of my kids comes to live with me and brings their kids with them, so I get to see them and my grandkids every single day!)

Friday, July 9, 2010

Sometimes Kids Do Listen

Well, a couple months ago I posted about how difficult it was for me to convince Cory to do reverent, quiet activities on Sunday and how we've been teaching all our kids about how to keep the Sabbath Day holy. Hailey has been setting a very good example and telling Cory good things we can do on Sunday that will make Jesus happy and how we shouldn't play with our friends outside. It's been really cute to listen to her "preach" to him.

Anyway, so about 3 or 4 weeks ago, his friend came knocking at our door (even though we've told her in the past we don't play with friends on Sunday--I think she keeps "forgetting.") And I was in the kitchen getting lunch cleaned up and I heard Cory say, "I can't play on Sunday, but I can play on Monday!" And then he shut the door. I came out with my jaw dropped. I asked him what he just said and he told me and I just went up and gave him a hug and told him how proud I was of him for making that decision. I didn't make a big deal of it. I didn't even mention it again after that. (When you praise Cory too much or make a big deal with him, it seems to backfire.) So ever since then, he has stayed inside on Sundays. If he goes outside at all on Sundays(which is very tempting living here and how it's still been in the low 70's all summer), it's because he asked if we could go on a family walk or sit outside or something of that sort. Which we do, of course.
So I figured this would be a one-time thing, but pretty much every Sunday for the last month, he's been not playing with his friend outside. Before, when he would sneak outside to play, we wouldn't yell at him or punish him, we would just ask him if what he was doing would make Jesus happy and leave it at that.

I guess setting a good example, giving constant love, and consistent gentle reminders and lessons actually works!